Some of you have never gotten all your books confiscated by your third grade teacher because you were reading them under your desk in math class and it shows
creating venom without spider-man has created the greatest dynamic between eddie and venom that has ever existed. they aren’t bonding over hating peter parker, they’re bonding over the fact that they’re both complete losers. they’re two losers that love to eat junk food out of the trash and they can combine together to form an eight foot tall space monster.
I was hanging around at my boyfriend’s place (in hindsight he was probably Satan) and we were just chilling, doing normal things, when a long, sleek, black car pulled up outside of his house. My boyfriend, suddenly very nervous and twitchy, told me to go and hide in the closet. When I asked him what was up, he just told me it was a “work associate” so I went and did as he said. I peeked a little bit out of the closet to see who this person was. I wanted to see who could possibly get my boyfriend, the actual Devil, to tremble in fear. And lo and behold, it was Ted Cruz.
Reflections on this post:
1. I need to read URLs.
2. “in hindsight he was probably Satan” may be the single greatest hook to a story that I’ve ever seen.
3. The levels of stress and suspense that occur in the rising action here rival that of some of the greatest survival horror works that exist on this earth.
4. “And lo and behold, it was Ted Cruz” is probably the only sentence that could make the conclusion to this story more terrifying, and ended the story in a way far superior to anything my own sense of dread could have come up with.
writing BDSM fanfiction about stephanie myer’s twilight series and then turning it into a bestseller erotica trilogy that somehow manages to be both more popular and more universally hated for its terrible writing than stephanie myer’s twilight series is the definition of “weird flex but okay”
